Just last summer when I was being flushed out intravenously from having too many pancreation cells in my blood. I was in emergency for about 8 hours. I had been feeling badly and started to vomit and so I went to the hospital alone just to get checked out. With my crappy health going in to get checked out is no big deal. But this time the nurses were coming in and remarking on how I should be in great pain...nurses with these big eyes saying I've never seen anyone with these levels so high and not having a lot of pain. They were getting ME worried! lol I was handling the pain with meditation and relaxation...
...but when I relaxed I thought there were trucks coming into the parking lot because there was a window over my head and I could see these bright lights. The bright lights started to annoy me as they got more intense and so I opened up my eyes when they were there and there actually was no lights coming in the window. hmmmm? So back to relaxing and I thought they turned the lights on in the room. Open eyes and nothing. Now with the light I felt warmth...
Then the light and comfort overcame me and I could see a large door outlined in gold floating in the room. The door opened and I there was a mans' arm opening it from the other side. Checkered shirt.. I knew it was my Dad. He looked wonderful! Young, healthy and very loving just as I remember him. He reached out to me (and his arm would have to have been about 20 feet long) and as welcoming as it all felt my body and very essence of who I am went into this shocking recoil! I physically drew my arms up and onto my chest... Dam!
This isn't the first time having a NDE and I thought because my health is pretty crappy that with the next near death I'm just gonna go. I have had enough already... but I tell you. Going (dying) or staying here is an internal choice and not a conscious one. The choice is made in quicker than a split second!! before your conscious mind can even conceive what you are faced with. There was an internal NOOO!!! I've got more things to do here... and so here I am.
I find myself apologising to my Dad when I think about this... but I'm sure on the other side they don't worry about rejection :):)
